Last night I posted this tweet:
I had an overwhelming response from other bloggers to put my feelings out there, but many reminded me to do so in a kind way. After discussing my feelings in depth with Matt, he assured me what I have to say shouldn’t offend anyone, so long as my explain myself. So here’s my long-winded (come on, what did you expect??) attempt explaining why I’m giving up google reader and how HLS inspired me to do so.
There are so many things that I experienced and learned at HLS that I still haven’t been able to analyze all of them in my brain. While I was driving home from school yesterday I started thinking about how I haven’t logged into google reader since I came home from HLS two weeks ago. Then I started analyzing how HLS changed my opinions and habits of reading blogs and how that’s also changed my general perspective on my blog and my content.
This really all started before HLS, but HLS was the key factor in my decision to stop using google reader. Since HLS, I’ve decided to stop reading blogs written by people that don’t have a relationship with me. I’ve decided to stop reading blogs where I don’t feel like I have a voice or a contribution by commenting on the post. Unfortunately if I’m one of 100 people commenting on a post, I really don’t see how my comment does anything for my relationship with you as a blogger. How does me being one of 100 comments contribute to my life? And finally, how am I to forge a relationship with you when I’m one of thousands reading your blog each day?
That’s the part that I feel will be offensive to others, but it’s also the part that I need to bluntly admit. I don’t to skate around the true reason I’ve quit google reader. However, I will explain to you why and how I came to this conclusion.
When I started reading blogs over 2 years ago, I was lost in life. I was miserable and sat at a computer desk 9 hours a day and wanted to be anywhere but at my desk, sitting on my ass, doing work that didn’t interest or challenge me. I began reading blogs that Heather mostly introduced me to and most of those blogs were written by people with huge followings. Reading about other’s healthy lives allowed me to escape from my own misery and find inspiration, yet distraction from my job. Eventually reading blogs at work bled over to reading blogs at home every chance I could get.
My google reader has had over 100 blogs in it for a long time. Even when I started to change my life, I still read blogs constantly because I sat at a computer all day. Last August when I quit my job to return to school, my available time for reading blogs decreased significantly. I was constantly running around and no longer in front of a computer 9 hours a day. However, I still read blogs on my phone during class, or each night before bed and when I woke up the next morning. I still managed to make a significant dent in my google reader each day and keep up with my favorite popular blogger’s lives.
As my available time to read blogs kept decreasing as school went on and my life became much better and happier, I found myself only reading the popular blogs. Even after cleaning through my google reader last spring, I would focus on the popular blogs first. I started to sacrifice the time I spent reading my friend’s blogs and spent time only reading blogs of people that have huge readerships.
Since the start of 2011 this trend has continued. And since April when I started reading books every day, my blog reading time has decreased even more. I spend time before bed reading and in my spare time I read books instead of blogs. However, I would still log into google reader once a week and catch up on my favorite bloggers, but again – I neglected my friend’s blogs. I neglected reading the blogs of my twitter friends or fellow Healthy Living Bloggers. I continued to read the blogs of people that didn’t even know I existed.
Then I attended HLS. And while at HLS, I didn’t talk to a single one of these bloggers with large readerships that I’ve been reading for the past two + years. I saw them and I’ll admit, I was slightly star struck to see a few (as silly as that sounds), but I didn’t talk to them. And I’ll 100% admit, I could have gone up and said hi and told them I loved their blog – and I know every one of them would have been sweet as apple pie to me – but would we have formed a lasting relationship beyond that five minutes? No, we probably wouldn’t.
Do you know who I spent the most time with at HLS and who made the conference incredible and unforgettable for me? My friends and other bloggers who I’d never heard of, but took time to talk and become friends with me. I devoted my time to the girls that have taken time out of their lives to make real-life friendships with me and who keep up with me by reading and commenting on my blog, chatting with me in gchat, sending me snail mail, text messaging and emailing me. Those girls that I can talk to about my real-life and who are interested in how school is going, or will take time to buy a new wardrobe with me. Those girls whose blogs I haven’t been reading religiously the past two years, despite their commitment to read my blog and be in my life.
I’m not saying you have to read my blog and comment on it for me to read yours. I’m not saying that we have to talk every single day for me to read your blog. What I am saying is that I’ve spent more time reading about random people’s lives than I’ve spent investing in my friends lives and blogs and that’s wrong. It’s plain wrong and I won’t do it anymore and HLS really put that into perspective for me.
As my life has become happier and I’ve achieved my goals, I’ve found myself with much less time to read blogs. I’ve found that I actually want to live my life rather than live vicariously through others. I’ve taken that time I spent reading blogs and invested it in my hobbies, my life and MY blog. And especially after this week, with starting school, working on my blog and continuing my internship, I’ve found I have roughly 15-30 minutes a day to read other people’s blogs and I can only check in on twitter a few times a day.
Since coming back from HLS, I’ve dedicated that time first and foremost to reading my friends tweets and blogs. To checking in on my fitblog twitter buddies to see how they are doing. To actually comment on blogs and share my opinion with others because I know what I say will make a difference and mean something to them to have comments.
None of this is to say that there is something wrong with having a large readership. There isn’t at all and I realize blogging is some people’s job and having 100 comments on every post is crucial for their paycheck. However, that’s not me or for me. I know I can keep up with these blogs through twitter and if there’s an important post they wrote, I know my fellow bloggers will point this out on twitter so I can read it.
Right now with my limited time, I’d rather spend my time focused on my friends and creating meaningful relationships with other bloggers. I enjoy meeting new people in fitblog and love adding them to my twitter feed. But I’m not going to automatically add them to my google reader and pretend to read all their blogs anymore. If we become close friends through twitter, I’ll add their blog to my mental list of blogs that I read every day. But I won’t put a random blogger before my real-life friends I’ve made through blogging anymore.
Thank you HLS for helping me re-align my blog reading priorities.
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
hey friend I hear u. I clean out my fb friends once a month with the same rule. I do read blogs of people I dont know but that is to get mommy and home school tips. I do keep it pretty limited… Maybe 15 on my google reader. I just needed more time being mommy and less time reading about it. I also dumped tv till c goes to bed.
Great post! I have been having the same feelings since I came home from HLS.
I think this is great, actually. I trimmed by reader down last spring (http://www.relishments.com/blog/2011/05/getting-out-from-under-my-google-reader/) and though I find that I benefit greatly from reading blogs by people I don’t actually know, I completely understand your decision. The chances of developing a real relationship with a hugely popular blog is pretty unlikely and I think your choice is a good one.
I will admit, I have learned and gained so much from reading the popular blogs. But that was before I had my own life, health and happiness in order. Now that I do and my time is limited, I’m changing my reading habits.
Thanks for sharing your post! I’m going to go read it now!
I don’t use google reader for a very similar reason. I have a few goto blogs, and they are mostly people that I know or interact with on a regular basis. I will click thru twitter if I am online and browsing, and I have a seperate set of bookmarks of blogs that are interesting but less intimate/immediate to me.
I applaud you for finding what you want in life. This is a most excellent discovery!
Oh, I am so glad you posted this! I’m a long-time blog reader (and blogger, but for myself, really) but it’s only been within the past year that I started really focusing on healthy living blogs. And it’s so easy to get caught up in the “popular” blogs. I found myself wondering how I could attract so many readers.
Lately, though, I’ve been less enamored with those popular blogs but I couldn’t put my finger on why. You are so right — with hundreds of people commenting, it’s very difficult to make a connection. And connections are what it should be about, at least in my opinion.
When I teach online, I make sure that I respond to EVERY student post on the discussion board. My colleagues think I’m insane, but I think of it this way — if I were in a classroom, I wouldn’t ignore a student comment. I would respond to everything every student said. Same way socially — if a person says something to me, I respond. Why should blogging and commenting be any different? Aren’t we all just trying to create a dialogue and support for healthy living, or life in general?
All that is to say, thank you. Thank you for reminding us that it’s about the relationships that we build. They are going to help us all reach our goals and stay healthy. And the bonus is that we’re making friends along the way.
Yay, the controversial post is here! Haha, I checked for it several times this morning before I left for hot yoga, but realized you’re in a different time zone and probably weren’t even up yet! But now that I’m home, am a sweaty mess and should be showering, I checked for it first and it was here!
I agree and suspected I would. I hear you sister. I don’t read the “famously, huge, big, popular” blogs. I sometimes feel that with peer pressure, I shouuuuuld be reading them, but I still don’t. Some people are OBSESSED with those bloggers and I don’t get it. They have quality points, I’m sure, but so do the other people who haven’t struck fame yet. I don’t really see a difference between the popular bloggers and us except for the number of readers. We have a voice and what we say is just as funny, cool, important, healthy, etc….I, like you, like the intimacy of the few lesser known bloggers that I’ve come to consistently read.
Okay, great post and I’m sharing it! {and now…about that shower…
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I think it so admirable that you want form and nurture relationships using your blog. That was the reason I started mine up, but I am still working on making those connections. Honestly, I find it rather intimidating, but this post really made me feel like it is possible to bond with people over the blogosphere. Thank you so much for your honesty with this one. It is refreshing. I love your blog. Keep up the great writing! You have an awesome perspective.
Thank you so much! It is honestly comments like this that inspire to put myself out there as a blogger and discuss some of the more controversial topics in the blog world.
I find forming relationships with other bloggers very intimidating too. I know it’s possible to make really great friends via the internet and blogs (my friendship with Laura is a testiment to that), but sometimes, I’m just so unsure of how to approach it. I have a hard time introducing myself to other bloggers without feeling somehow intrusive. I know it’s my own personality quirk rather than other bloggers since I’m very shy face-to-face as well, but… well, I guess the whole point of this comment it to let you know you’re not the only one who feels intimiated by trying to connect and form relationships with others in the blogosphere.
To be completely honest, when I first saw the offensive element included and read this I went “hmmmm and didn’t think it super shocking.” Maybe Im a rebel but while I can see why people could get riled up about it, you set this up in a way that would end up in that “but! but! but!… blank stare/grumble combo. To each their own though since I know I’ve read stuff before that someone else might have had this reaction and I’m sitting there seething yet keeping my snark retaliation in check.
I read a wide variety topic wise including but not limited to friends, blends, the healthy living comminity, general food, baking, fashion, knitting, crafting, house decor, DIY, travel, comedic snark/etc, authors, celebs that post are real people and not “look at me I’m so wonderful!” Safe to say there is a lot. HOWEVER the ways that I approach them all varies from day to day. I might not read one theme/topic every single day due to time constraints and life in general but I do make a point to read friends/blends posts first especially if I don’t have much time. Ones with larger followings (I like this description) I do read but at times there are a numerous unreads. I can only do so much.
Now in terms of that description I read ones that have HUGE followings and will comment from time to time. The Pioneer Woman is one that comes to mind since I was reading hers earlier this morning. While there is no goal in my life to become a BFF of Ree, there are some times that I will read a post and have an immediate response. Will I be one of numerous comments? Sure, but will it be something that will make ME happy to add and quite possibly a smile on her face? For me = yes. For her = no idea. I’m fine w that though. I see it as like meeting someone in person and complimenting them on whatever they do.
Now back to the healthy living community that is more so the focus since HLS was included in the base of this post, this being my second conference and second year in this community (craft blogging was my old one) my view of connecting with people has changed. I’ve got a post planned for that. (Yes, I know that is a shameless plug!) While I support your new approach to reading blogs, I also support your progression in the reading process. I think that limiting what someone reads can make you miss out on a lot of great blogs out there. The thing is though to limit sometimes you need to have some and then too much to be able to do so.
I think heather says this perfectly, but twitter will lead me in the direction of a good, but popular post I should read. My point is I’m not going to read every post all those popular blogs write anymore, but I will read if I have extra time and its worthwhile.
YES! Twitter streams/facebook posts and emails are the way I find out about the BEST content out there, that I dont subscribe to.
also – I “subscribe” to people via google reader, but not necessarily their BLOG on greader – then when they share things they find valuable, i either read them if they appeal to me, or just skip them and move on to the next suggestion. I never feel pressure to read anythign in my reader – thats another key point, I think – if a title or subject doesnt interest me, I dont read it. simple as that.
im glad you posted your feelings.
personally, i keep the blogs in my google reader which add value to my life.
There are blogs which make me laugh EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
There are blogs that teach me some sort of lesson or practice, EVERY.SINGLE.POST.
There are blogs who share recipes that I really enjoy testing in my own kitchen. There are blogs that point me to products I may be interested in. Blogs that talk about subjects I can’t get enough of. Blogs which inspire creativity in my day to day life.
There is no right way to read blogs.
There is no right reason to read a blog, either.
I am proud of you. and I love you (obvs)
though – i do not love that your blog is blocked at work. boo
I agree and im not saying I won’t read those blogs again or ever use google reader again. But I will rely on twitter to filter those posts for me.
At this point I need to focus on reading my friends blogs and cultivating those relationships.
I loved this post! I really enjoyed meeting you at HLS and have been following you since. I agreed with a lot of what you said, and I also agreed with Heather’s comment. I subscribe to quite a few blogs, but I don’t feel pressured to read them. I read on my own terms, on my own time.
I also appreciated what you said about building relationships. That is meaningful to me as well, and I’m hopeful I’ll be able to do so.
I also don’t think what you said was offensive at all. It was just honest. You are doing what is best for you, and sometimes that takes courage, and saying something that might be considered “unpopular”.
Oh man. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings ; )
Let’s be honest-the reason most people read and especially comment on the ‘big’ bloggers is 1) in hopes that big blogger will find them, love them, and then promote their blog everywhere and/or 2) to get new readers via commenters who click through. What usually happens is you get a few extra hits, but nothing really substantial.
I’ve been feeling super disillusioned with blogging lately, and thinking of doing a huge, ranty post about it. When I read a big, popular blog I usually find myself thinking…how does this person have hundreds of comments? She didn’t say anything! And I’m finding that more and more blogs are kind of homogenizing so they all are basically the same, trying to emulate the ‘big’ blogs. And it obvs works, but I have no idea how! why do people want to read these blogs?? Sometimes I read them just to try to figure out what people are enjoying about them! I want to read people’s experiences and thoughts, not see a million pictures of that free stuff a company sent to you (super unpopular opinion there!) I realize it could come of sounding like sour grapes-”why is so and so popular when MY BLOG IS SO MUCH BETTER??!!!” haha. I definitely don’t think mine is amazing or worthy of a million followers. I’m doing it for me and I don’t do any of the promoting or whatever. I’ve taken a lot of people off my g-reader, too. The only blogs I’m clicking through to read from greader are people I feel like I know and like. People who comment on my blog, people I talk to on twitter, people who are entertaining, people who I feel like I ‘get’ and ‘get’ me.
-this is Carrie_RD from twitter, btw ; )
This reply was hilarious
I don’t think there was anything offensive in your post at all. Your time is valuable and so are your friendships. Popular blogs are great, but only if you feel a connection with the blogger and get something out of them. Reading friends blogs, on the otherhand, is enriching.
I think you are highlighting what blogging is all about – making real connections with people. The people I made real connections with at HLS, through commenting and emails, or meeting in person other times, are the blogs I read everyday. I actually created a folder in my Google Reader for those blogs. This way I make sure I hit those daily, and the others? Well I will get to those when I have time. I keep my blends separated from blogs I read because I enjoy but have no emotional connection to (some are blogs with big following and some are not).
I take a very similar approach as you Jessica. I have a ton of blogs in my reader, but very few that I read regularly/ daily. I have a folder of “must-reads” with blogs of people I have buot or would like to build relationships with. I have a folder of blogs that are my “go-to” blogs for things like recipes or workout routines. These are often “bigger blogs,” but I don’t devote nearly as much time to them. Generally I’m just skimming for things I want to try. Finally I have a folder of other blogs that I read if I’m especially bored, but I don’t worry about reading if I’m short on time. I have no problem clicking “mark all as read” and moving on with my life.
I totally know how you feel. I quit google reader a long time ago… I have a few blogs I rotate through, but I also like to click on blogs that someone has suggested… I like finding new bits that way.
I had the very same revelation after attending BlogHer this year. I met one of the popular fitness bloggers and after writing hundreds of comments and devoting hours of time reading her blog and contributing, I thought we’d hit it off. I was pretty rebuffed, and it sparked the same thoughts of, “what am I doing and how am I spending my time?”
The same thing happened to me at HLS. There was one girl in particular that I LOVE but I didn’t want to introduce myself because A) she has no idea who I am and b) even though I know she would be super nice, it wouldn’t lead to anything else after that conversation.
After I got home, I realized I felt sort of empty reading her posts. Like I no longer really cared what she was doing, because seriously how was her life connecting with mine? I didn’t feel that way when I read the posts from bloggers that I did meet at HLS and spent a lot of time with at the conference or now talking to on twitter/email.
I’ve been waiting to comment until I actually had time to write a legitimate comment. I’ll probably always use Google Reader just for the convenience of all my blogs being in one place. That said, I generally click out of reader and read the post on the actual site rather than in GReader.
I stopped reading many of the “big blogs” a while ago. For me, the decision was primarily related to quality of content. After a while, I felt like Ii was reading the same posts over and over again. I guess that’s what happens when you’re churning out 3 posts a day, 7 days a week. It’s hard for anyone to come up with that much quality content. For me quality is always more important than quantity.
I really love the philosophy behind this post though. It’s something I’ve been trying to do a lot more of myself – as we’ve discussed this and you’ve recommended several new blogs to me. My biggest problem is that I’m often unsure of the best way to connect with other bloggers online without feeling like a stalker or weirdo. I know this my own issues and shyness more than anything else – I’m the same way in the “real world” – but it’s still something I struggle with.
I think that so many people have commented on this post saying, I’m able to only read the bigger blogs when I want to, blah blah blah – but for me it wasn’t that way at all. I would get legit nervous I missed something and would have to go through all 30+ blogs I had for them to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
That being said, I have started to notice the content just isnt’ there for so many of those blogs. I completely agree, quality over quantity through and through. I want to read a post that just HAD to be written by the blogger because of their passion for the topic, rather than their need to make a $$ off my clicks.
This is a great post! I also just started school full time again, after working a full time desk job for 5 years, and I know exactly what you mean about not having the time you once had (*cough*eighthoursaday*cough*) to read blogs. I cleared out my Google Reader big time when I realized that blog reading would no longer be the thing I used to pass my time. Now my time is too precious to pass! I think using Twitter to read select posts from big bloggers is a great tool – I’ve been doing it myself and I’ve found that I don’t really miss a lot of the blogs I used to read every day. I much prefer to spend my time reading smaller blogs, with more intimate readerships. That said, I’m glad I found your blog. I’ll definitely be back!
Thank you so much for the sweet comment! I’m glad you found my blog too and I’m looking forward to getting to know you better!
I hope if Ashley, my sis, and I ever start our blog you will read. I love this post.
I absolutely will! Please keep me informed!
come find our blog. not much there yet, though.
This post really got me thinking about how we should approach the blog, and how to be part of the blogging community. At HLS, we weren’t bloggers, and I wasn’t even a reader of the healthy living blogs. It made me wonder about how to be part of this community, what I want from it. I’m still not sure, but thanks for helping me think about the possibilities and connecting with a community of friends.
I freaking love this post. (sidenote: told you I was going through some of your recent posts!)
But seriously – I feel so similarly. For a while, I stopped blogging completely, and I stopped reading blogs. But for those who are my friends (some friendships made through blogging, others were there before), I missed that insight into their daily lives. I’ve gotten to a good place now where yes, I do use google reader, but only as a place to quickly access the few blogs I love to read on a daily basis…and usually have time to while I’m taking a quick lunch break/ or it’s slow at work. But it’s so much more important to live our lives…both in terms of not letting blogging hold us back from anything and also not letting blog reading get in the way of anything.
On that note…I should probably stop reading blogs and finish studying for my bioorganic test tomorrow AM.
Whoaaaaaaa nelly. This is EXACTLY how i’ve been feeling lately, too! (Obviously, I’m way late to the game reading this post….but it it’s timeless and will ALWAYS ring true for me, and I’m sure many others, too!). Like you, being in school has eaten up my time (and my life?) and swallowed it whole. I am reading and writing for school pretty much 24/7 (and have hardly had time to even update my blog… buuuut that’s my own fault, ha!) and the little time I DO spend reading blogs, I’ve been focusing more on those who i have a connection with/ have met in real life. I love every word of this post and can relate so much!!!!!! Thanks for writing it
I went through this about a year ago. I was reading way too many blogs and I was finding that there was a big percentage that I didn’t even like. I had no idea why I was trying to read and like them, so I went through a Google Reader cleanse. I unsubscribed from about half of the blogs I read and focused more on the ones I really really liked and could relate to. Much happier!
Great article & thank you for sharing! I think it’s very brave, but such an important topic many of us online are struggling with. My reader is OUT OF CONTROL, I need to start unsubscribing from a few a day…thanks for the inspiration!
Not sure how I feel about that. To be honest, since coming back to blogging I love me G-reader. It has helped me get back with blogs I missed. A lot of people that started blogging about that same time I did have huge readerships. I met them and feel I know them so I would not kick them off my reader just b/c they are more popular now. That being said, I am finding new friends and loving it! I have never felt guilty for not posting or not reading any blog though. Guilt and reading are not a good combo considering how much I like to read anything.
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